by Billy Carpenter (@4CR_Billy)
In memory of George Scott.
Kicking things off The Real Americans stand in the center of the ring. Zeb Colter reminds everyone of how Big Show manhandled him a few weeks back. He then turns his attention to Rey Mysterio before throwing out a few names for Show & Rey’s team. All of this leads to our first match of the night…
The Real Americans vs Rey Mysterio/Big Show
Swagger & Cesaro played it smart and isolated the smaller Mysterio for much of the match. Once Show came in though, the complexion changed. Cool spot with Show hitting a double hip toss on the Real Americans. He tossed Swagger out very awkwardly before Cesaro eats a 619/KO Punch combo. Splash by Mysterio from Show’s shoulders finishes things.
Post-match, Paul Heyman comes out and let’s Big Show know that this Sunday at the Royal Rumble Brock Lesnar will finish this feud.
Back from break and here’s Brodus Clay. His opponent: The Miz. Ugh. Before the match however, Bad News Barrett comes out and proceeds to bury these two. He provides his brand of commentary on this thankfully short match. Miz own but I honestly didn’t pay attention to see how he did it. Post match, Miz & Barrett taunt each other.
Winner: The Miz
Royal Rumble hype video. Always so much fun to watch.
AJ Lee & Tamina make their way out as AJ prepares for action. “Funk is on a roll” and here comes her opponent…
AJ Lee vs Cameron
Too short to care. Cameron actually got in a few moves but eats the Shining Wizard in less then 2 minutes to win it. Meh. After the match, Naomi gets the best of AJ and for some reason goes for a cover. Welp.
Winner: AJ Lee
Video package highlighting the return of ‘The Animal’ Batista from this past Monday’s RAW.
Rybaxel in the ring as we come back. OLÈ! Here comes Los Matadorès to set up our next match up…
Curtis Axel/Ryback vs Los Matadorès
Man, SD really wants to retain my viewership tonight, eh? I normally wouldn’t mind this match but after the first half, I need something to keep me in it and this ain’t it. Anyhow, Los Matadorès dominate most of this match and while I was looking away from the screen, Axel somehow wins the match for Rybaxel! Regardless, he gets rana’d to the outside by El Toríto to end the segment. GAWD….
Winners: Rybaxel (!)
Michelle Beadle’s bestie, CM Punk makes his way out next to address Kane making him no.1. If he’d just watch the stat video from earlier he’d know that #1 has won the Rumble as many time as the coveted #30 spot. Basically, he vows to overcome the odds and win the Rumble. Kane interrupts and throws out some stats as to why he won’t win but Punk questions what’s become of Kane before reiteration his intentions to win on Sunday.
Recap of Daniel Bryan’s infiltration of the Wyatt Family.
The Prime Time Players vs The Wyatt Family
This went about how you’d think. The PTP go down in short order after a Discus Lariat from Harper to Young. Bray comes in after the match and hits D-Young with Sister Abigail. He has a message for Daniel Bryan but here comes Bryan and the place explodes! He says Bray will see who the real monster is on Sunday when the whole crowd is chanting “YES! YES! YES!”
Winners: Luke Harper/Erick Rowan
Fandango is in the ring as we come back and here comes his opponent–“SOS!”
Fandango vs Kofi Kingston
Another short match. This could’ve been pretty good with some time, but it is what it is. It was a win for Kofi who’s gotten some sort of mini-push again lately. This SmackDown has been incredibly boring tonight.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
10 man tag time…
The Shield/New Age Outlaws vs The Usos/Big E Langston/The Brotherhood
The standout match on an otherwise lackluster show. That said, I have a few gripes: The Brotherhood is played out. They’ve had a nice run but I just don’t care when they come out now. Cody was white hot in the summer and is so far gone from that now. Goldust & the NAO main eventing a WWE program in 2014 is absurd. I would’ve rather this had been the Shield vs The Usos/Big E. Just showcase the younger guys. These kinds of matches have become extremely formulaic, with standard stuff for 15 minutes before everyone hitting their signature/ finishing moves to close it out. Good work, but nothing I’ll remember in a week or 2. And since when did teammates breaking up a win constitute a DQ?!
A bland go-home show to the second biggest PPV of the year. Things are getting stale and hopefully things will freshen up after the Rumble as we head towards ‘Mania. As far as this week’s episode of SD!, don’t bother if you missed it.