4CReview: WWE Money in the Bank (6/29/14)

wwe mitb 14

Venue: TD Garden (Boston, MA)

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and John “Bradshaw” Layfield

Hello 4CR faithful, my name is Jonathan Sullivan and I’m going to be your guide for the next three hours through the havoc and chaos that is Money in the Bank 2014. For those of you unfamiliar with my work (all of you) I get a little carried away with the details so this is probably going to be a much longer article than you want to read but if you’re also looking for near blow-by-blow coverage I’m going to be your new best friend. Actually can I be your new best friend anyway? I’ve been kinda lonely lately and…

ANYWAY on with the show!

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Quick Results

  1. The Usos (c) defeated The Wyatt Family to retain the WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP when Jey Uso pinned Erick Rowan with the Superfly Splash (13:13).
  2. Paige (c) defeated Naomi [w/ Cameron] via pinfall to retain the WWE DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP (7:02).
  3. Adam Rose [w/ The Rosebuds] defeated Damien “Paul Revere” Sandow via pinfall with the Party Foul (4:15).
  4. MITB Contract Match: Seth Rollins defeated Dean Ambrose, Rob Van Dam, Jack Swagger [w/ Zeb Colter], Kofi Kingston, & Dolph Ziggler (23:14).
  5. Goldust & Stardust defeated RybAxel when Stardust pinned Ryback (7:34).
  6. Rusev [w/ Lana] defeated Big E via submission with the Accolade (7:18).
  7. Special Ref: Fandango: Layla defeated Summer Rae via pinfall (3:06).
  8. MITB: John Cena defeated Randy Orton, Kane, Cesaro, Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, Bray Wyatt, and Roman Reigns to win the WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (26:29).

*****

MITB Kickoff Show Rundown/Notes

-No actual match this time around so I’m just gonna sum up the big points from the kickoff. Ain’t nobody want to read a recap of that.

-The Kickoff panel this month consists of Renee YoungAlex Riley, Booker T, and Christian. Young is in Josh Matthews’ old anchor position because he’s no longer employed. Tom Phillips is now anchoring the Social Media Lounge. Nerd.

-Alex Riley wants Kofi Kingston to win the MITB match tonight. Alex Riley is the worst.

-Daniel Bryan makes his return to the WWE via in-ring interview with Michael Cole, leads some “YES!” chants. Boston is ecstatic to see him again. Cole asks when he’s going to make his in-ring return and Bryan says he doesn’t know yet because the strength hasn’t come back to his arm. Bryan promises that he will be back though. Twitter questions! One guy asks who will win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship and Bryan has three thoughts: John Cena, Randy Orton, and…Roman Reigns (crowd pops for that one). Twitter question 2 involves The Authority stripping him of the title. Bryan says he felt disrespected that he wasn’t even called about it and how smug Stephanie McMahon was when the announcement was made. He’s then interrupted by Bo Dallas! Dallas says that Bryan not being able to compete must be a pain in the neck (HA!) and that life is about the journey, not the destination. All Bryan has to do to climb back to the top is BO-LIEVE. Bryan says Dallas is acting like a BO-NER and then tells him to “BO…LEAVE!”. Bryan leads some YES! chants to end the segment, Dallas walking off all sad. Bryan is a monster. Fun little segment overall to remind everyone that Daniel Bryan has indeed not died.

-Kickoff panels makes with MITB picks. Booker and Christian both think Randy Orton is going to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

-The Kickoff concludes with The Wyatt Family interrupting. Luke Harper tells The Usos they’re coming and Rowan ends it with “RUN”. I guess this is opening the actual PPV.

PPV Recap/Review

VIDEO: MITB Intro, super serious narrator and everything.

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Cue the pyro as we go (back) live to the TD Garden in Boston. The camera pans the crowd as Michael Cole welcomes the home audience. He’s joined as usual by JBL and Jerry Lawler.

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1. The Usos (Jimmy & Jey Uso) (c) Vs. The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan) for the WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

Harper and Jey club each other to start. Jey ducks a clothesline and takes Harper down with a crossbody followed by a superkick to the midsection. Jimmy tags in and decks Harper but ends up running right into a dropkick from the big man. Rowan tags in and floors Jimmy with a shoulderblock then covers for a 1-count. Rowan steps on Jimmy’s temple then headbutts him into the corner. Rowan clubs Jimmy in the chest then tags in Harper, who hits a corner elbow smash. Harper gets the crazy eye and drops Jimmy with a European uppercut before tagging Rowan back in. Jimmy escapes a pumphandle slam attempt and tags in Jey. Jimmy dropkicks Rowan and Jey rolls him up for the 1…2…kickout. Jey goes for a crossbody but Rowan catches him. Jey escapes a slam attempt and dropkicks Rowan out to the floor. Jey climbs the barricade and connects with a flying forearm.

Back in the ring Jey catches Rowan with a top-rope crossbody for the 1…2…kickout. Harper charges from the apron and Jey decks him. Jey climbs to the top but Rowan shoves him off, sending the Uso flying into the barricade. Harper tags in, slides out, and catches Jey with a running boot then steps on his head. Harper rolls a lifeless Jey back into the ring then hits a slingshot senton (!!!) for the 1…2…kickout. Harper grabs the legs and slingshots Jey throat-first into the middle rope, then covers for the 1…2…kickout. Rowan tags in and drops an elbow right into Jey’s heart (Lawler just clutched his chest). Rowan tosses Jey to the mat via the Iron Claw then covers for the 1…2…kickout. Rowan grabs the head and twists it, torquing the neck and wearing him down.

Jey attempts a sunset flip but Rowan doesn’t budge. Rowan attempts a legdrop but Jey moves out of the way. Harper makes the tag and clotheslines Jimmy off the apron. Jey charges and Harper catches him, shoving him back to the mat. Harper then charges and takes his head off with a big boot for the 1…2…kickout. Jimmy runs in but the ref keeps him from inflicting any damage. Harper sends Jey to the mat with a double chop then tags Rowan back in. Rowan slams Jey almost through the canvas but misses the follow-up running splash. Rowan charges the corner and Jey floats over, sending Rowan shoulder-first into the ring post.

Harper tags in but so does Jimmy who immediately hits him with a series of midsection superkicks and an uppercut. Jimmy connects with back to back clotheslines, and clears Rowan off the apron. Jimmy ducks a clothesline and takes both Wyatt Family members down with Samoan drops. Jimmy hits the Rikishi Splash on Rowan, then the Whisper in the Wind on Harper for the 1…2…kickout. Jimmy clotheslines Rowan out to the floor then catches Harper with back to back superkicks to the skull for the 1…2…kickout! Jimmy can’t believe it.

Out on the floor Rowan catches Jey from the apron, so Jimmy takes flight and takes both men out. Sacrifice for the greater good! Jimmy climbs the apron and Harper hits him with the big boot. Harper pulls Jimmy back in as Rowan rolls in as well. Before they can do anything Jey superkicks Rowan. Harper clears him out and Jimmy rolls Harper up for the 1…2…kickout. Harper grabs Jimmy and hits the sitout powerbomb for the 1…2…kickout. Crowd is insane right now, commencing with a “This is Awesome!” chant. Harper takes flight and takes Jey out with a tope suicida, then Jimmy takes flight but Rowan catches him. Harper then takes Jimmy out with a tope suicida of his own. Rowan tags in and The Wyatt Family hit a double slam, Rowan covering for the 1…2…Jey breaks it up just in the nick of time.

Harper charges at Jey and crotches on the top rope. Jey takes him out with a superkick, then Rowan splashes Jey. Rowan thinks for a second then climbs to the top turnbuckle. Jimmy manages to get up and crotches Rowan on the top turnbuckle. Jimmy goes for a second-rope superplex but Rowan fights him off and shoves him to the mat. Jimmy rebounds and catches Rowan with a right hand. Jey tags in and The Usos connect with a top-rope double superplex on Rowan (!!!). Jimmy tags back in and climbs to the top, hitting the Superfly Splash (as Jey tags himself in) then Jey hits one of his own for the 1…2…3!

Winners and STILL Tag Team Champions: The Usos (13:13)

  • Jon’s Thoughts: A great tag team match to open up the show. Lots of nearfalls, drama, and unexpected spots. That double superplex but beautiful. I’m surprised The Wyatt Family didn’t get the win here but they looked as tremendous in defeat as The Usos did in victory. What a way to kick this PPV off.

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VIDEO: Recap of the Ambrose/Rollins feud.

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Dean Ambrose cuts a backstage promo on Seth Rollins, saying he wants to tear him apart but he also wants to get the MITB briefcase. Ambrose has a decision to make: case or face? Ambrose wants both. Tremendous.

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2. Paige (c) Vs. Naomi [w/ Cameron] for the WWE DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP

Paige takes Noami to the mat with a quick armdrag, then they both roll out to the ring while jockeying for position in a collar and elbow tie-up. Back into the ring Paige catches Naomi with a dropkick followed by some sort of tilt-a-whirl move while Naomi was kneeling. Didn’t really look like anything. Naomi bails out to the floor then grabs Paige and tosses her out with a snapmare. Naomi rolls in, takes flight, and hits Paige with a splash. Both ladies are down, Cameron is not amused. Naomi rolls in first and begs for Paige to get back into the ring. Paige rolls in at the count of seven and is greeted with a dropkick to the mush. Naomi covers for 2 then climbs to the top, connecting with a flying crossbody but Paige rolls through for the 1…2…Naomi rolls through for the 1…2…kickout.

Paige kicks Naomi flush in the midsection then sends her into the corner. Naomi floats over a splash attempt and rolls Paige up for the 1…2…Paige reverses for the 1…2…Naomi reverses for the 1…2…Naomi applies a surfboard-type submission. Cameron is still not amused. Naomi eventually breaks it and bridges into a pin for the 1…2…kickout. Naomi climbs to the top and Paige kicks the turnbuckle, crotching her on the top. Paige goes for a superplex but they slip and fall out to the floor instead. Ouch.

They get back into the ring and Paige rolls throughs a backslide, superkicking her for her troubles. Paige traps Naomi in a Stump Puller (!!!) in the center of the ring, then drops back to cover for the 1…2…kickout. Naomi bounces back with a clothesline followed by a hurricanrana and dropkick. Naomi kips up and levels Paige with a European uppercut followed by the Rear View for the 1…2…kickout. Naomi kicks Paige from the apron then goes for the split-legged moonsault but Paige gets her knees up. Paige goes for the Crosslock but Naomi counters and rolls her up for the 1…2…kickout. Paige bounces back and hits a package DDT for the 1…2…3!

Winner and STILL Divas Champion: Paige (7:02)

  • Jon’s Thoughts: Didn’t have a lot of expectations going in for this one but I ended up enjoying it. These two had some good chemistry with each other and held nothing back. Naomi has improved tons over the past few years. I guess her and Cameron are headed towards a feud which is…a thing that will take up TV time, I guess. When’s Paige gonna get some tangible to do?

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We check in with the Kickoff panel who talk about the Usos match and the upcoming Money in the Bank matches. Alex Riley picks Bray Wyatt to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship tonight. Booker T and Christian stick with their Randy Orton picks from earlier. Segue into the “MITB By The Numbers” video that we also saw earlier.

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“Paul Revere” (Damien Sandow) makes his way out, making fun of The Rosebuds for being a bunch of losers dressed as a bunch of losers. Sandow goes on record and says if he had known Boston would end up like it is now he wouldn’t have warned anybody of anything…except that Boston will always live in the shadow of NYC. Heel heat 101. Adam Rose makes his way out with his Rosebuds and tells Sandow to turn his frown upside down because Boston is the place to party. Rose says “don’t be a lemon” and Sandow charges. Rose falls into his Rosebuds, who then push him back to the apron so he can finish with “Be a Rosebud!”. Sandow is sent out to the floor and this is a match that is happening.

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3. Adam Rose Vs. Damien “Paul Revere” Sandow

Sandow works Rose over in the corner then whips him to the opposite side. Rose grabs Sandow with his ankles and rams him into his ass, then sends him out to the floor. Sandow trips the legs and clubs Rose repeatedly across the back and knees him in the face. Sandow rolls Rose back in and covers for the 1…kickout. Sandow drives a knee into the spine and applies a chinlock. The Rosebuds are shown partying on the entrance stage. Awesome.

Rose breaks out of the chinlock but runs right into a back elbow. Sandow drops the forearm followed by a kneedrop. Sandow yells that “THE ELBOW IS COMING!” and drops the Elbow of Disdain for the 1…2…kickout. Sandow reapplies the chinlock. Rose rolls Sandow off then gets a knee up during a splash attempt. Rose fights back with back to back forearms followed by a series of left jabs. Rose hits Sandow with a running elbow in the corner, then mule stomps him repeatedly. Rose yells “CHOO CHOO” and Sandow floors him with a clothesline. Sandow takes his jacket off and hits Rose with You’re Welcome for the 1…2…kickout! NO! NO NO NO. Sandow attempts a moonsault (!!!) but misses and Rose finishes him off with the Party Foul for the 1…2…3!

Winner [via Pinfall]: Adam Rose (4:15)

  • Jon’s Thoughts: Adam Rose and Damien Sandow were the cooldown match after Paige/Naomi. That’s crazy. This match was what it was; Sandow is doing his best to work with what’s giving him and while he did the Paul Revere thing wonderfully I’m still not over how WWE has killed him post-MITB cash-in. It’s a damn injustice. As a side note my girlfriend loves Adam Rose so I’m probably gonna ask her to marry me later on this very recap. How romaaaantic.

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Comments from those involved in the MITB contract match coming up next. Apparently this is the Royal Rumble. Dolph Ziggler has Mr. Perfect hair.

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4. Seth Rollins Vs. Dean Ambrose Vs. Jack Swagger [w/ Zeb Colter] Vs. Rob Van Dam Vs. Dolph Ziggler Vs. Kofi Kingston in a MONEY IN THE BANK CONTRACT MATCH

Ambrose charges right at Rollins, brawling with him right into the timekeeper’s area. Back in the ring Kingston takes Ziggler out with a dropkick then Kingston takes Swagger out. Kingston hits RVD with a springboard kick then grabs for the first ladder. Swagger grabs the other side and shakes him off. Kingston climbs the slanted ladder Swagger is holding and takes out RVD with a clothesline, then takes out Swagger with a running kick to the head. Kingston hits Swagger with a twisting Boom Drop on the ladder, then grabs it and clotheslines Swagger out to the floor. Kingston sets up the ladder and starts climbing. Ambrose pushes the ladder over, and Kingston uses the top rope to hit Ziggler, RVD, and Swagger with a springboard splash. DAMN.

Ambrose pulls the ladder back into the position and starts climbing but Rollins intercepts. They keep pulling one another off until Ambrose throws him into the ladder. Ambrose throws Rollins to the mat then leans a ladder on the middle turnbuckle. Ambrose goes for a suplex but Rollins blocks it and tries one of his own. Ambrose blocks it and tries again, this time sending Rollins into the ladder with a butterfly suplex. Ambrose grabs a different ladder and starts climbing but Swagger pulls him off. Everyone except Rollins try scrambling up the ladder, leaving Ziggler and Kingston each climbing the opposite side. Swagger grabs the ladder and is kicked away. Ambrose clotheslines Swagger out, Kingston and Ziggler clothesline Ambrose out. They both run up the ladder and club at each other, grabbing for the briefcase in between. They pull one another off and Rollins uses a different ladder to pelt both men between the setup ladder. RVD rolls in and dropkicks the ladder into Rollins.

RVD with back to back clotheslines followed by a savate kick. RVD sends Rollins into the corner then monkey flips him out. RVD grabs a ladder and places it in the corner. RVD whips Rollins into the ladder and follows up with an emphatic spinning heel kick. RVD lays the ladder on the bottom turnbuckle and slams Rollins on top. RVD takes time to do his finger point thing then takes Rollins out with a rolling thunder on the ladder. Ambrose runs in but is kicked off the apron by “Mr. Monday Night”. Ziggler runs in and RVD hits him with a superkick, then takes Swagger out with a spinning heel kick. RVD climbs to the top and flattens Swagger with the Five Star Frog Splash.

With no one in the ring RVD sets the ladder up and climbs. RVD gets his hand on it but here comes Kingston on the opposite side. Kingston punches RVD off then Swagger pushes the ladder to take Kingston off. Kingston and RVD send the ladder into Swagger’s skull. Kingston backdrops RVD to the apron and eats a forearm. RVD climbs to the top and Kingston clubs him in the neck. Kingston climbs to the middle turnbuckle and jockeys for position for a superplex until Swagger rams him in the kidneys with a ladder. Swagger clears Kingston out of the ring and sets up the ladder next to RVD who’s still straddling the top turnbuckle. Swagger climbs it and grabs RVD, bringing him onto the ladder as well. Swagger goes for a mega superplex but RVD fights him off and headbutts Swagger off the giant ladder and onto the mat.

RVD celebrates on top and Rollins attacks from behind. RVD pelts Rollins with a series of forearms then goes for a superplex but Rollins blocks it. Swagger walks up and hits a powerbomb on RVD and RVD explodes into dust (okay not really). Ambrose returns and climbs the ladder, headbutting Rollins repeatedly and connects with the superplex off the top of the giant ladder! Ambrose almost breaks himself in half and both men are out. JEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS.

Ambrose gets up and grabs a ladder but Ziggler dropkicks it into his face, sending him and the ladder into the ropes. Swagger then slingshots Ziggler into Ambrose and the ladder, clearing them from the ring. Kingston runs in and Swagger throws him to the mat like a sack of PO-TAY-TOES. Swagger slams a ladder on top of Kingston and hits him with a Swagger Bomb, sandwiching Kingston with the ladder. Swagger climbs a ladder and gets to the briefcase but RVD climbs the other side and they trade rights. Rollins and Ambrose run in and pull them off. Ambrose takes Swagger’s head off with a lariat and Rollins powerbombs RVD to the mat. Ambrose and Rollins climb the ladder, trading rights. Ambrose sends Rollins crashing to the mat, leaving Ambrose alone. Swagger grabs Ambrose from behind and goes for a slam but Ambrose counters with a DDT.

Rollins is back to his feet and starts the ladder climb. Ambrose pushes the ladder over, sending Rollins crashing to the mat. A ref and trainer run in to check on Ambrose’s left shoulder which he’s favoring. Trainer says it’s dislocated and Ambrose tells him to pop it back in. Ambrose is forced to the back by referees, trainers, and other people. BOOOOOOOO. Rollins is only happy to see this happen and up he goes on the ladder. He grabs the case but RVD runs interference on the other side. RVD slams Rollins’ face on the top of the ladder. Kingston grabs a ladder and slides it between one of the rung and the top rope. Kingston climbs up behind RVD. Rollins sends RVD down, his leg getting caught in the rungs. Kingston grabs for the case but Rollins headbutts him. Kingston backdrops Rollins onto the ladder holy shit. 

Kingston grabs for the case but Ziggler pulls him off and plants him with a DDT. Swagger runs in and Ziggler catches him with a series of rights and the corner rights. RVD rolls in and Ziggler hits him with a Fameasser. Swagger grabs a tiny ladder and Ziggler superkicks it into his face. Ziggler grabs the tiny ladder but Kingston ducks the strike. Ziggler ducks the Trouble in Paradise and hits Kingston with the Zig Zag on the ladder. JEEZ.

Ziggler sets up a ladder and climbs it but in comes Swagger who applies the Patriot Lock. Ziggler tries to fight through the pain and climbs the ladder anyway just with his arms. Ziggler kicks Swagger away. Ziggler grabs the case but Rollins hits Ziggler’s ankle with a chair. Rollins smashes Ziggler over the back with the chair and kicks him out of the ring. Rollins climbs his way to the top but Ambrose runs back in and levels Rollins repeatedly with a chair. Ambrose throws Rollins out to the floor and starts climbing with his one good arm.

Before he can grab the case the ring post pyro explodes in and in comes Kane. Ambrose fights Kane off for a bit but Kane eventually pulls him off and chokeslams him. Kane then finishes Ambrose off with a Tombstone Piledriver, allowing Rollins to climb the ladder and get the briefcase for the win.

Winner: Seth Rollins (23:14)

  • Jon’s Thoughts: Holy goddamn shit, what a match. A total car crash filled with crazy spots and the whole story with Ambrose and Rollins was handled beautifully. The crowd was hot for everything and heightened the whole atmosphere. While the match was centered around Rollins/Ambrose the other participants also had some great spots in as well to highlight them, and Kofi’s near-win after backdropping Rollins seemed super believable. I thought he had it. Tremendous. Absolutely tremendous. Goddammit I love this PPV.

Post-Match: The Authority celebrates with Rollins on the entrance stage.

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Byron Saxton interviews Randy Orton backstage, who promises to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship tonight. He also backhands Seth Rollins verbally a bit, saying Rollins needed help to win but he wouldn’t need it tonight. Saxton attempted to ask Orton about Roman Reigns but Orton stared him down and walked off.

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5. Goldust & Stardust Vs. Curtis Axel & Ryback

Axel is wearing a singlet instead of trunks this time around. Channeling his inner-Perfect. Axel starts with a waistlock on Stardust, but Stardust trips the leg to break it. He follows up with a hip toss and cartwheel into a dropkick. Goldust tags in and Stardust uses him as a launching pad to take Axel down with a clothesline. Goldust takes Axel to the mat with an armdrag then tags Stardust back in. Axel breaks the wristlock and walks off. Ryback gets the tag. Stardust escapes a slam attempt and lands on his feet then takes Ryback down. Goldust tags in and Ryback applies a side headlock. Goldust connects with an inverted atomic drop and kick to the face. Axel grabs Goldust and drops him throat-first on the top rope having tagged in earlier.

Axel clubs Goldust repeatedly, then rubs his forearm across Goldust’s face. Axel follows up with a dropkick off the Irish whip and covers for the 1…2…kickout. Ryback tags in and RybAxel club him down to the mat. Ryback covers for the 1…2…kickout. Ryback drops a couple of knees to the spine and slaps on a chinlock. Goldust tries to escape but gets slammed instead. Axel tags in as Ryback connects with a second-rope splash. Axel follows up with a second-rope forearm smash and covers for the 1…2…kickout. Axel slaps on a chinlock of his own. Goldust escapes the hold but runs right into a back elbow.

Axel works Goldust over in the corner and tags in Ryback. Axel hits Goldust with an elbow then Ryback connects with a splash, followed by a delayed vertical suplex. Goldust lands on his feet and rolls Ryback up for the 1…2…kickout. Goldust charges at Ryback who drops him with a standing spinebuster slam. Ryback sets up for the Meat Hook (crowd chanting “Feed Me More!”) but runs into a back elbow. Goldust dodges a splash and in comes Stardust with the hot tag. Stardust connects with a clothesline followed by a dropkick, then clears Axel from the apron. Stardust escapes a slam attempt and kicks Ryback in the face. Ryback places Stardust on the apron, and Stardust responds with a springboard elbow. Stardust straitjackets the arms and DDTs Ryback. Axel charges and Stardust dodges, sending him to the floor. Stardust blocks the Shell Shock and hits the Cross Rhodes for the 1…2…Axel breaks it up. Axel goes for a clothesline but hits Ryback instead and Stardust rolls him up from behind for the 1…2…3!

Winners: Goldust & Stardust (7:34)

  • Jon’s Thoughts: A competent tag team match. The whole Goldust/Stardust thing was something I wasn’t sold on initially but they are pretty awesome, and not enough nice things can be said about RybAxel. Not a bad match on this show so far…oh wait the Summer Rae/Layla match is happening at some point.

Post-Match: Axel attacks Stardust from behind but is eventually planted with a DDT/faceslam combo by the brothers.

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VIDEO: Recap of the Summer Rae/Layla feud no one gives a damn about.

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Byron Saxton is standing by with Fandango. He has a custom (and bedazzled) referee shirt. He says he “loves” triangles but before he can be asked anything in comes Layla who says he’s in love with her. Summer Rae walks in and says we all know who Fandango truly loves. Rae says he likes a woman with long legs. Layla says he wants someone “aBREAST” of the situation because titties. Yelling until Fandango breaks it up. Kill me.

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Rusev and Lana make their way out for the next match. Lana gets on the mic after his usual entrance concludes and tells the crowd to shut up with the “USA!” chants. Lana says tonight Rusev’s opponent will be waving the American flag, a flag that supposedly represents a great nation. Lana calls it a joke and a shot of Vladimir Putin is displayed on the TitanTron as she says he will be watching Rusev prove Russia’s superiority. Rusev says tonight he crushes Big E then speaks in a foreign language. BOO HIM FOR BEING DIFFERENT THAN US RIGHT NOW. Big E makes his way out next, American flag and everything. A picture-in-picture pre-recorded interview from Big E says he stands for the people. Talks like a stereotypical black preacher and it rules.

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6. Big E Vs. Rusev [w/ Lana]

Big E charges at Rusev, Rusev clubs him into the corner. Big E fights back with rights of his own followed by a clothesline then sends him out to the floor. Rusev climbs the apron and gets a knee up when Big E attempts the spear. OUCH. Rusev follows up with a suplex, then stalks his prey before delivering forearms to the side of the skull.

After a few more blows Rusev slaps on a chinlock. Big E gets to his feet and Rusev drives him back down with forearms to the back of the neck. Rusev yells at Big E in non-English but misses the running splash. Big E gets to his feet and connects with a belly-to-belly suplex for the 1…2…kickout. Rusev rebounds with a series of haymaker rights and lefts, followed by knees to the midsection in the corner. Rusev charges at Big E, who takes him down with an STO and covers for the 1…2…kickout.

Crowd is a bit out of the match as Big E hits the running midsection shoulderblock followed by the bodyblock. Big E gets Rusev into the position for the splash and dodges the kick, hitting a belly-to-belly suplex followed by a spear off the apron and onto the floor. A dazed Big E rolls Rusev in and covers for the 1…2…kickout. Big E pulls the straps down and Rusev climbs to the apron. Rusev catches Big E with a kick to the side of the head followed by the superkick. Rusev pumps himself up on his knees, screaming to Lana. She tells him to crush and Rusev stomps the spine before the locking in The Accolade. Big E fights it, eyes wide trying to get to his knees. Rusev pushes him back down and pulls back even further, finally getting the tapout victory.

Winner: Rusev (7:18)

  • Jon’s Thoughts: The first match between Big E/Rusev at Payback was disappointing as it never got a chance to get going. This was a total 180, with the match getting ample time for both dudes to hoss each other to death. Not only that they even called back to the previous match, with each man avoiding the big moves from the previous encounter. Big E almost escaping the Accolade was wonderful as well, breaking the monotony of Rusev immediately getting the win once the hold is applied. Really good. Sleeper hit of the night.

Post-Match: Lana puts the medal on Rusev and they pose in front of a Russian flag that falls from the ceiling.

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The MITB panel talk about Seth Rollins‘ win earlier and the upcoming MITB main event. We then see a clip of D-Bry’s interaction with Bo Dallas from the Kickoff show.

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The Bella Twins are catching up backstage when Stephanie McMahon walks over. She pretends Brie Bella doesn’t exist and asks Nikki Bella what she’s doing here. McMahon says it’s WWE policy that only authorized personnel are allowed backstage. Brie then shows McMahon her new favorite video of Vickie Guerrero throwing McMahon into the mud/pudding/whatever. Back live Brie gets in McMahon’s face. McMahon calls security to escort Brie out of the building.

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7. Summer Rae Vs. Layla with Fandango as Special Guest Referee

Alright guys this is gonna be rough, so let’s just grit our teeth and get through it together.

Rae and Layla sass each other, then Layla clubs her with forearms and sends Rae out of the ring. Layla dances for Fandango and Rae sweeps the legs from the outside. Rae splashes Layla in the corner and chokes her with the long legs. Fandango tries to count but gets distracted with the long legs of Summer Rae. Alright fair enough I’d probably do that too. Layla sends Rae into Fandango and they almost kiss, then Layla attacks from behind and covers for the 1…2…kickout. Layla applies an Indian deathlock on Rae. Fandango doesn’t check and instead just shimmies his junk instead. Layla rolls over onto Rae for the 1-count as Boston chants for CM Punk.

Rae gets the upper hand and drops Layla with a DDT. Layla bails to the apron and hits Rae with a back elbow, following up with the Chick Kick for the 1…2…3. Okay.

Winner: Layla (3:06)

  • Jon’s Thoughts: ‘kay.

Post-Match: Fandango spins Layla into his arms and makes out with her. They leave together, leaving Summer Rae to cry in the center of the ring. My girlfriend is sitting here and I’m super embarrassed about all of this.

—–

HYPE VIDEO: The upcoming WHC MITB main event.

—–

The Authority make their way to the ring to watch the match front and center.

8. John Cena Vs. Kane Vs. Cesaro [w/ Paul Heyman] Vs. *WWE U.S. Champion* Sheamus Vs. Randy Orton Vs. Roman Reigns Vs. Alberto Del Rio Vs. Bray Wyatt in a MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH for the vacant WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Bell rings and it turns into a battle royal of chaos. CESARO IS WEARING KNEEPADS. Eventually it boils down to Cena, Orton, and Kane in the ring, Orton pummeling Cena. Kane grabs the first ladder but Cesaro and Del Rio send it into his face via baseball slide. Cesaro and Del Rio tug of war the ladder then hit Orton with it. Wyatt runs in and uses the ladder to crossbody both men. Cena comes up from behind and picks him up fro the AA but Wyatt escapes and plants him face-first on the ladder. Reigns steps into the ring and stares Wyatt down. Reigns connects with a Samoan drop and sets up the ladder.

Sheamus attacks Reigns from behind, sending him out to the floor. Sheamus climbs the ladder but in rolls Kane who picks him off the ladder and fights him into the corner. Reigns rolls in with a second ladder and is attacked from behind by Orton. Orton whips Reigns into the corner and Reigns responds with a clothesline. Sheamus and Reigns pick up ladders, Kane in the middle. They sandwich Kane and each set up a ladder. Del Rio attacks Reigns from behind, Cesaro climbs the other side and pummels Sheamus. Kane pushes both ladders down, dropping all four men. Kane clears the ring of Del Rio, Reigns, Wyatt, Cesaro, and Del Rio. Cena runs into a goozle and is also chokeslammed by Kane.

Kane throws a ladder out (?!?) and sets a different one up. Kane goozles Orton and throws him to the ladder. Kane holds it down, allowing Orton to climb up. Reigns attacks Kane from behind, causing him to shove the ladder down and Orton off. Reigns hits Kane with the ladder then resets it. He begins the climb but Wyatt attacks from behind with a series of rights. They trade rights and Wyatt wins with an STO. Cena runs in and hits Wyatt with a back suplex. He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Cesaro runs in and takes his head off with SWISSSSS DEEEEEATH. Cesaro climbs, Sheamus on the other side. They exchange right hands as Wyatt spider walks to the ladder and pushes it away. Cesaro and Sheamus are left hanging on the belts, Cesaro knocks Sheamus off but can’t unclip the belts and falls down to the mat.

Wyatt sends Cesaro out to the floor and we see a shot of Orton being tended to by a physician. Orton pulls Del Rio out and whips him into the ring steps. Orton pulls another ladder from under the ring because there aren’t any around the ring (j/k there are MILLIONS). Orton leans the ladder against the apron and next to the Spanish announce table. Sheamus runs over and sends Orton into the barricade, then lays the ladder between the apron and table. Orton’s head gets bounced off the ladder repeatedly until it falls back down. Sheamus resets it and climbs it like a bridge but Orton sweeps the legs and sends him crashing back-first onto the steel. Orton grabs Sheamus and plants him with the hanging DDT off the ladder. He dead. He supes dead.

Orton rolls back into the ring and tosses a ladder out of the ring (?!?). He grabs the gigantic ladder of doom and sets it in the center. Orton starts a climbin’ while Reigns, Cesaro, Cena, and Del Rio also climb it. Wyatt and Kane also run in, leading to everyone getting pulled off. I used to play this game in elementary school on the jungle gym. Cesaro gets close to the top but Kane pulls him off and clotheslines him out to the floor. Kane ducks Del Rio’s enziguiri attempt and tosses him out of the ring like yesterday’s garbage.

Kane pulls Sheamus onto the apron and goozles him but Sheamus fights him off with rights and drops him throat-first onto the top rope. Sheamus climbs back up and commences with the 10 Beats of the Something. Sheamus climbs to the top and slips a bit but still hits Reigns with a flying shoulderblock. Sheamus hits someone else with Irish Curse and then hits Orton with White Noise. No one in the crowd seems to care though. Sheamus hits Cena with a Brogue Kick out of nowhere (which Cena doesn’t take all of) sending him out to the floor. Sheamus throws Orton out of the ring and sets up the gigantic ladder of doom.

Kane pulls Sheamus out of the ring but Sheamus sends him flying into the ring steps. Cesaro tries to bring another ladder in but Heyman tries to tell him he doesn’t have to. Cesaro doesn’t listen and builds a bridge between the top turnbuckle and ladder rung. Cesaro crosses the bridge and he and Sheamus trade rights atop the ladder. Sheamus kicks Reigns off, Cena throws Del Rio out. Cena follows him out (?!?). Reigns lifts the ladder up and drops it but it dangles by the bridge like a leaning tower! Cesaro climbs over and they exchange more blows as Cena sets the ladder right. Cena goes for the climb but Wyatt attacks from behind. Reigns climbs behind Sheamus as Wyatt bounces Cena’s back off the ladder. Cesaro, Sheamus, and Del Rio touch the belt but don’t get it.

Kane runs in and starts taking people out left and right. Sheamus almost unhooks the championship but Kane and Orton pull him off. Orton sends Sheamus out to the floor as Kane sets it up for Orton. Reigns levels Kane with a spear out of nowhere and Orton pushes the ladder onto Reigns. Orton goes for the RKO and Reigns counters with a Superman Punch. Sheamus climbs to the top and Reigns levels him with a Superman Punch. Reigns tags Del Rio then sends Wyatt into the announce table on the outside before hitting the apron dropkick on Del Rio and an announce table dropkick on Wyatt! Reigns then catches Cesaro with a spear on the floor and goddamn about time something interesting happened again.

Back in the ring Cena and Reigns stare one another down. They trade right hands, crowd totally pro-Reigns. Reigns escapes the AA attempt and hits Cena with a spear. The Authority stand in disbelief as Reigns sets the ladder up and begins the climb. Orton attacks Reigns from behind and hits his weird over the back neckbreaker thing. Orton begins the climb again but Wyatt grabs him and hits Sister Abigail to the crowd’s joy. Wyatt climbs the ladder but Del Rio attacks from behind and hits him with the corner enziguiri followed by the superkick to the side of the head.

Del Rio begins the climb and gets his hands on the belts but in comes Sheamus who pushes the ladder over and hits him with the Brogue Kick. Sheamus climbs to the top and Cesaro pulls him off right into SWISSSSS DEEEEEATH followed by the Neutralizer. Cesaro pushes Sheamus out and begins the climb to the belts. Orton grabs the ankle, swings Cesaro, and hits the RKO! GODDAMN SHIT.  Orton begins the climb but Reigns attacks from behind and they trade rights. Orton pulls Reigns off and starts climbing, now bleeding profusely. Reigns clubs Orton repeatedly and headbutts him off. Kane runs in and chokeslams Reigns off the ladder.

Orton starts climbing when Cena hits Kane with the AA. Cena pulls Orton off and hits him with an AA onto Kane. Cena climbs the ladder and grabs the belts. OF COURSE HE DID.

Winner and NEW World Champion: John Cena (26:29)

  • Jon’s Thoughts: It had its moments but this was outshined by the MITB match earlier in the show; this one had the prestige but the first one had the excitement. Still wasn’t a terrible match though, with the Orton/Kane story keeping things interesting and Reigns getting another chance to shine and show that he is the future. Also Cesaro’s take of that RKO was beautiful. Cena winning isn’t surprising, his becoming champ should never be a shock, but it still took a little air out of me. But that’s WWE’s thing; when something they try fails they gotta go with their backup plan and that backup plan wears jorts.

*****

Overall Show Thoughts

A very enjoyable PPV with some really good matches and one balls out incredible MITB contest (not the main event). The ending had me a little deflated, I respect Cena but it’s just such a “we’re panicking so fuck it” move from the WWE that I can’t really get behind it. Also didn’t help that the match itself was a bit slow and was overshadowed by the more talented roster members throwing down earlier in the show. Money in the Bank is definitely a show worth watching despite some of my issues/annoyances, at least for the MITB contract match. When a PPV’s filler is still pretty much worthwhile that’s a good sign. Let the Cena Era begin! Again! Forever! And Ever!

  • Highlights: MITB Contract match, Big E/Rusev II, Usos/Wyatt Family
  • Lowlights: Cena winning the title again, the MITB main event, Rae/Layla

Agree? Disagree? Comment below or follow me on Twitter to talk about the show. Thanks for joining me and I’ll try to keep it a little bit shorter than this next time. I won’t of course but I’ll try.

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