by Billy Carpenter (@4CR_Billy)
HIAC Kickoff Show: Mizdow TV
Damien Mizdow is an A+ gimmick, by the way. Of course, The Miz is the special guest for Mizdow TV tonight. Mizdow asks the questions and then mimics the Miz as he answers said questions, brilliant! There’s a smidge of teased dissension when Sandow brings up defeating Sheamus this past week. Mizdow goes on to call Miz his best friend, and Miz reciprocates by calling him the best stunt double. How sweet. Sheamus appears on the tron and, to paraphrase, tells Miz that he’ll be retaining the US title tonight.
HIAC Kickoff Show: Mark Henry vs Bo Dallas
Impromptu match! Bo brings up his recent string of victories over Henry on his way down to the ring. Mark mauls him at the bell–WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM and it’s already over!
WINNER: Mark Henry
Post-match, Bo claims he wasn’t ready and that in the record book of life, he is the real winner. Henry mows him down on his way out.
Byron Saxton is backstage with Paige & Alicia Fox. Paige promises to rip out AJ’s heart and take back her WWE Divas title.
2 out of 3 Falls for the Intercontinental Title
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs Cesaro
Cesaro with the completely shaved dome makes him look about 5 years younger. Feeling out process to start, Cesaro takes control with a side headlock. Off the ropes, shoulder block takedown and Cesaro gets a 2 count before going back to the headlock. Off the ropes again, hiptoss attempt countered into a backslide by Ziggler and the two exchange a series of pins. Dolph to his feet and gets a corner splash. Neckbreaker attempt countered by Cesaro, Dolph sides out of a tilt-a-whirl. Dropkick attempt missed–giant swing! Countered by a rollup from Dolph for 2. Cesaro recovers and gets the stun gun on Ziggler… GIANT SWING~! Cesaro goes for the pin but Dolph reverses into a cradle and wins the 1st fall!
Double gut stomp by Cesaro and he attacks before the mandatory rest period. Ziggler to his feet in the corner but Cesaro meets him with a running European uppercut that gets 2. Scoop slam followed by a rope walk elbow that doesn’t connect for Cesaro. He’s able to rock Dolph with a right hand before clamping in a facelock. Back elbow by Dolph and he follows up with a single arm DDT (maybe?). Cesaro gets another double gut stomp followed by a butterfly powerbomb for 2. Dolph rolls to the apron but Cesaro attacks. He goes for the deadlift superplex but Ziggler catches the arm over the top rope. Looks to go for a tilt a whirl headscissors but Dolph locks in a keylock! Transitions to a guillotine and then a kimura. Cesaro walks himself and Dolph up the ropes and hits a superplex! Great spot. Corner charge by Cesaro misses, Ziggler with the Famouser for a long 2 count. Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag but it’s blocked, leapign DDT attempt countered into SWISS DEATH~! NEAR FALL! He picks Dolph up, who counters into a rollup for a near fall. They both counter some shots before Cesaro hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2. Neutralizer attempt stopped with an armbreaker…SUPERKICK! ZIG ZAG! DOLPH WINS 2-0!
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler
Randy Orton wants to know where Seth Rollins is, but the Authority direct his attention towards his HIAC match with John Cena.
Loser becomes the winner’s personal assistant for 30 days:
Nikki Bella vs Brie Bella
Nikki powers Brie back to the corner out of the tie-up but Brie catches her with a pair of boots to the face. Backslide gets one and Brie hits a seated dropkick. She misses a corner charge before getting caught in an electric chair drop. Arm trap headlock by Nikki and she follows up with a snapmare facebuster into the knee for 2. Various forms of hair pulling until Brie hits a facebuster for 2. Flying clothesline followed by a dropkick. Running knee to Nikki and Brie goes for another but Nikki rolls out. Suicide dive by Brie! Missile dropkick by Brie gets 2! What is this?! Brie goes for a headscissors but Nikki counters it. Rack Attack and it only gets 2. Brie gets the YES LOCK but Nikki makes it to the ropes. Brie charges in and Nikki blasts her with a forearm. A second Rack Attack and that’s all she wrote. This was the absolute best that we could’ve hoped for here.
WINNER: Nikki Bella
WWE World Tag Team Titles
The Usos vs Goldust/Stardust (c)
Stardust & Jimmy to start. Back and forth to start, Jimmy hits a somersault splash for 1. Tag into Jey, and he & Goldust go at it. Double team elbow by the Usos gets 2. Goldie is able to Irish whip Jimmy into his corner, where Stardust grabs his legs and works him over. Frequent tags by the champs and Jimmy tries fighting out but to no avail. Reverse chinlock by Goldust but he takes a jawbreaker for his troubles. Off the ropes but Goldie counters with a powerslam for 2. Tag to Stardust and he hits a front suplex. Back to a reverse chinlock on Jimmy. Bulldog attempt but Jimmy throws Stardust off. Stardust is able to make a tag to Goldust, but Goldie is sent to the floor with a backdrop. Jey gets the tag and hits a no-hands tope on Goldust! There’s another one for Stardust! He tosses in Goldie and hits a big crossbody off the top for 2. Samoan drop also gets 2. Splash in the corner followed by the running Uso ass attack (?) gets another 2. He nails Goldust again before drilling Stardust with superkick. He gets caught in a big spinebuster by Goldust though. Goldust working over Jey but he fires back with a superkick for 2! Jey & Stardust are also back in and we get stereo superplexes by The Usos! Superfly Splash by Jimmy but Stardust breaks it up. Stardust kicked the back of Jimmy’s knee on his way out behind the ref’s back and Goldust hits his finisher for the win!
WINNERS: Goldust & Stardust
#1 Contender Hell in a Cell Match
Randy Orton vs John Cena
They trade blows to start, which Orton wins this round. Out to the floor and they take turns trying to throw each other into the cell walls. Orton is able to do so and he rolls Cena back in and gets a 1 count. Orton grabs a chair but Cena cuts him off before he can use it. Randy also thwarts John’s attempt to use it and is finally able to land a shot to the back of Cena with the chair. Orton wedges the chair in a corner but turns around into an AA attempt. He slides over the back and hits a DDT to maintain the advantage. Back to the floor and Orton bounces Cena’s face off the stairs. Back in the ring and Orton is still in control. He takes time to pose and tuns into a clothesline from Cena for 2. The Viper fires back and hits a trio of clotheslines in the corner. Cena rolls back out and gets tossed into the cell. Orton has a reverse chinlock locked on in the ring but Cena comes back and hits a pair of shoulder blocks. “You Can’t See Me” but Orton kicks him from the mat and follows up with a snap powerslam for 2. Hanging DDT attempt but Orton gets backdropped to the floor. Cena hoists Orton and slams him into the cage twice before Randy counters by posting him crotch first. Backbreaker from the apron! Orton launches Cena from the apron into the cage and follows him out, but Cena takes over and throws Orton back & forth into the cell’s walls. John gets a table from underneath the ring and tosses it in. Cena looking to AA Orton through the table but Randy counters out and hits a dropkick. Irish whip into the chair that Orton had set up earlier in the corner. Orton positions the table in the corner before using the chair once again. He goes to toss Cena through the table but John puts on the brakes. Shoulder block, Cena looking for another one but RKO OUTTA NOWHERE gets 2! Cena isn’t able to stop Orton throwing him into the table this time and he follows up with a near fall. Randy goes out and tosses some steel steps back in. RKO attempt blocked and Cena gets the Protobomb on the steps! Five Knuckle Shuffle! AA attempt but Orton hits Cena with a low blow. Randy sets up for the punt and Cena moves–STF locked in, but Randy crawls out of the ring to break the hold. Cena launches the steps at Orton but he’s able to move. Both men back in and Cena hits the AA for 2. Cena goes for yet another one but Orton flips into an RKO for 2! Cena AGAIN hits an AA, still only gets 2. John goes out and gets another table and sets it up close to the corner. He places Orton on the table and goes up top but gets cut off. RKO attempt off the top is blocked, Randy tries again and gets caught with an AA off the top through the table! That’s enough for the win and we have a new #1 contender!
WINNER: John Cena
Big Show is fired up backstage in preparation for his match with Rusev.
United States Title Match
The Miz vs Sheamus (c)
Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick right off the bat but Miz avoids it. Sheamus continues the attack, getting the 10 Beats of the Bodrahn. Miz is able to recover after getting thrown back in and drills Sheamus with a kick to the face. Back inside, Miz stomps away and then locks in a reverse chinlock. Sheamus with a back drop attempt but Miz rolls through. Running axe handle by the US champ. Sheamus charges into the corner but gets backdropped to the floor. Miz comes off the apron but gets caught and Sheamus gets a rollling senton. Back in, a flying shoulderblock gets 2. Irish Curse also gets 2. Miz fights back and hits the Mizard of Oz for 2. Knee lifts by Miz and he hits the kneeling DDT for a near fall. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale but it’s blocked, White Noise attempt also blocked as Miz rolls through and looks to lock in the Figure 4. Sheamus shoves him off and gets a tilt a whirl slam. Mizdow provides a distraction and Miz gets the Skull Crushing Finale for 2! Corner clothesline and Miz heads up top…BROGUE KICK catches him on the way down!
After the match, Sheamus has some fun with the unconscious Miz and Mizdow.
Rusev w/ Lana vs The Big Show
Big Show with the early offensive flurry. Rusev is able to catch Show’s leg and go to work on it. Good strategy. Suplex by Rusev, very impressive! Back to work on the leg but Show is able to finally get free. Dropkick by Rusev swings the momentum back his way though. Accolade attempt but Show reverses into a HAAS OF PAIN! Very nice counter! Show going for the KO but Rusev ducks. Show hits a spear off the ropes and here comes Mark Henry…hmm, wonder what’s next. Chokeslam attempt but Rusev fights out. Show catches him a second time and hits it for a 2 counts. Rusev rolls out in front of Henry. Show goes back out to roll Rusev in and gets caught coming in with a superkick. Rusev blasts Henry with one too! Another pair of kicks to Show and Rusev locks in the Accolade! The ref stops the match!
WWE Divas Title Match
AJ Lee (c) vs Paige w/ Alicia Fox
Lockup to start, Paige with a shoulder block off the ropes. Clothesline by AJ, followed by a rollup for 2. Tilt a whirl headscissors followed by another rollup by AJ. She grabs Paige’s head and skips with her around the ring. To the floor, Alicia tries to attack but AJ hits her with a Thesz press. Paige is able to grab her though and giant swing her into the barricade to take the advantage. Headbutts to AJ and Paige skips around her. Into the corner and Paige hits some back elbows. Repeated knee lifts in the ropes and Paige gets a near fall. Double arm surfboard stretch by Paige before backing AJ into the corner for more elbows. AJ battles out with knees to the face and another Thesz press. Neckbreaker coming out of the corner and AJ comes off the ropes but gets caught with a kick, which gets a 2 count for Paige. AJ fires back with a kick of her own and hits a tornado DDT for a near fall! AJ locks in a guillotine choke but Paige counters into a fallaway slam. AJ rolls out but Paige follows and continues her attack. Paige standing on the guardrail but AJ pulls her off and Paige takes a nasty bump. Alicia Fox picks up Paige and rolls her in to beat the count but AJ immediately locks in the Black Widow for the win!
WINNER: AJ Lee
Hell in a Cell Match
Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins
Ambrose out first, who decides to scale the cage and head to the top of the cell. “We’re all gonna die tonight!” To his credit, Rollins obliges Ambrose and heads up top…or not. He decides to send Mercury & Noble up to go and get Ambrose instead. Rollins scales the blind side while J&J Security get hit with the kendo stick. All 3 attack Ambrose and Rollins tells them to throw Ambrose off but he fights back while Seth makes his escape. Dean gives chase and they’re both scaling down the side of the cage. Both men come flying off through the announce tables! Stretcher jobs for both. Ambrose is back up as they’re carting him off and grabs Seth Rollins off the other stretcher and here we go! Locked in the cell now and Ambrose tees off on Rollins with a chair. Ambrose has a screwdriver and is trying to carve up Rollins but Seth is able to block it. Dropkick off the apron into the cell by Dean! Ambrose sets up a table against one of the cell walls. Dean with a tope suicida on Rollins and he is in firm control. Dean goes for a suplex on a pile of chairs but Rollins counters and hits a belly to back on those same chairs instead. Seth goes out and also grabs a tabe, wedging it between the ring and cell. Looking to suplex Ambrose through it but it’s reversed and Ambrose elbow drops Seth through the table instead! Ambrose grinds Rollins face into the cell but Kane is here with a fire extinguisher. He blasts Dean in the face with it and Rollins hits a powerbomb through a table on Ambrose! Back in–curbstomp by Rollins but it only gets 2. Seth grabs a chair and wears out Ambrose. He sets up for a curbstomp on the MITB briefcase but Ambrose avoids it. He goes for Dirty Deeds but Rollins hits an enziguri, but that is answered with a jawbreaker lariat! Dean nails Seth with the briefcase for 2! Ambrose rolls outside and looks under the ring..he grabs a pair of cinder blocks! He looks to be setting up for a curbstomp to Rollins on the blocks when the lights go out…
BRAY WYATT emerges from out of nowhere and attacks Dean Ambrose! He hits the uranage slam and Seth Rollins covers for the win!
WINNER: Seth Rollins
Bray hits Sister Abigail on Ambrose and kneels over his victim to close out the show…