Woeful Wrestling Figures: When the McMahon comes around.

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After months and months of sampling the worst and the weirdest that plastic wrestling toys have to offer, I decided it’s about bloody time to devote an entire installment to the big man himself. The big McMahon in fact. If Gerald Brisco should ever narrate this column (hey, it could happen) he’d say the big MAC-MAN. Yes indeedy-do this time out I’ve gotten hold of one of the earliest examples of a Vince McMahon figure and it’s a real embarrassment of riches.

The first thing that strikes you is that actually, this figure doesn’t look much like the Emperor of Sports Entertainment and you would be right, in fact the best way to describe this would be “Mr McMahon?” with his generic man face and pouty expression. It seems that the figure itself is well aware of this lack of similarity to the self-proclaimed “Genetic Jackhammer” as he has his name written down the length of the right leg of his ring gear, as well as a huge classic “scratch” WWF attitude era logo across his black tank top to compliment his all black tights and boots ensemble. Mr. McMahon is after all the living embodiment of the World Wrestling Federation being as he is about as subtle as a flying mallet and possessed of a near herculean physique.

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Posability is very much a disappointment of this early Jakks Pacific figure, with limbs made of a highly bendable soft plastic that robs Vinny Mac of elbow and knee joints, leaving him with very limited movement indeed. I know Vince wasn’t the best wrestler ever but he can bend his elbows at least.

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That movement disappears entirely though when you break out his frankly amazing accessories that were the reason for me entering a minor bidding war for Vinny Mac. In a bafflingly fantastic move, this particular figure of McMahon pulls double duty, alternating between business Vince and Rassler Vince thanks to a clip on grey two piece suit that covers up his ring gear and lets Vince go straight from the corporate arena to the wrestling arena in a flash.
Well, when I say the suit covers up Vince’s outfit I meant it covers up the front only, with the back totally exposed. This must mean that Vince will always sit at the head of the table at all times so as not to expose his lack of coverage. Although sitting is something Vince can’t do when suited and booted as the suit pieces are made of a harder plastic than most of the figure and as such means that Vince loses all articulation when trapped in his rather dapper bodysuit.

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Having a figure that represents both sides of the Mr McMahon character in one package is very admirable but the sheer daftness of only having half a suit and only a passable resemblance to Vince Dorado mean that it just ends up being a funny novelty, but that’s what this column specialises in isn’t it.

Welcome aboard the Woeful Wrestling Figures roster Mr McMahon, I’m sure you’ll fit in well with all the other misshapen freaks on staff here.

Thanks for reading.
Martin Dixon (@BunnySuicida)

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