Alright, it’s been long enough I think.
Time once again to not do my homework and peer at a lamentable lump of plastic putrescence and document my findings. I do this for science, not clicks.
As luck would have it, Samoa Joe has just made a rather memorable debut on Monday Night Raw, proving that Seth Rollins was once an adventurer until he took an arrow to the knee. So what better time is there to point and laugh at the worst thing I have ever seen and this time I mean it.
This tragic totem comes from a budget line by Jakks Pacific that started with WWE wrestlers and like all WWE cast-offs, was soon inherited by TNA, the new land of owls. Originally sold in dollar stores, these figures consist of a standard Jakks head sculpt slapped onto a very generic body with the barest of details and with little to no thought to aesthetic consistency or even any semblance of play value.
I don’t know about you but when I think of Samoa Joe I picture someone….. meatier than this pretender. Slapping Joe’s mug on top of such a ripped torso is beyond parody, doubly so by the totally mismatched sizes of the head and body. This all adds up to Joe looking like a horrific bobblehead custom job gone very wrong.
Although this was designed to be a “cheap & cheerful” budget figure and although he is made of a lovely, dense plastic that has real weight to it, the lack of care and attention and posing potential robs this toy of any real value beyond a hilarious novelty. It says a lot when Poundland’s own roster of rubbish rasslers manage to outclass an official release in almost every way.
This toy somehow manages to capture the sad story of 2010 era TNA, too big to get away with a shoddy but charming product but too small to hold a candle to it’s nearest competition and such philosophising is far too much for a toy to have to handle. Poor guy.
As always thank you if you made it this far, if you’ve enjoyed please share it and if you’re so inclined, a donation to help me keep finding these articulated atrocities would be very much appreciated and will earn a hearty thank you in the review your donation funds.
Until next time, thanks for reading.
Martin Dixon (@BunnySuicida)