Action Figure Fight Club: Here Comes A New Challenger.

What's this? New title? New blog! Yes readers, a year and change into wading through a twisted landscape of weird, wacky and often woeful wrestling figures I spotted an opportunity to spread my metaphorical wings and scope out new toy horizons. The wrestling figures aren't going anywhere however and I'm still trying to procure more … Continue reading Action Figure Fight Club: Here Comes A New Challenger.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Goldzilla VS Nashra

In the best of 2016 list I featured a giant Goldberg figure among my favourites, mostly because I couldn't quite believe how ludicrously big it was. So imagine my joy upon discovering on a certain online auction site a figure that dwarfs even Big Bill. Ladies and gentlemen, call the kaiju defence force as I … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Goldzilla VS Nashra

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Trip Hazard.

The march of progress is one of incremental steps. This is as true for wrestling toys as any other aspect of human endeavor. Modern wrestling toys have hit a peak of blending articulation, playability and sculpting that can please both child and child-like in equal measure. Such achievement hasn't come without some teething problems and … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Trip Hazard.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Yo Joe!

Alright, it's been long enough I think. Time once again to not do my homework and peer at a lamentable lump of plastic putrescence and document my findings. I do this for science, not clicks. As luck would have it, Samoa Joe has just made a rather memorable debut on Monday Night Raw, proving that … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Yo Joe!

Woeful Wrestling Figures: A Little Pump ‘N’ Grind.

Alright, let's get 2017 started in the right way, with crappy toys instead of expensive fireworks, gallons of alcohol, nameless party guests and the ever-present threat of a social disease. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. The Christmas season may be over for another 11 and a bit months but I come from the … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: A Little Pump ‘N’ Grind.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: 2016 A Toy Odyssey.

Happy holidays Internet, 'tis the season to make list posts (fa la la la la, etc) and being the hack fraud that I am I've decided to get a piece of clickbait pie and try to put a full stop at the end of my fraught journey through this mad, bad and very weird year … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: 2016 A Toy Odyssey.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Oh So Mysterio.

In amongst my self esteem taking the kind of battering by life that most punching bags would deem excessive I have to admit that finding the wherewithal to try and make jokes at wrestling toys harder than usual, but in an effort to take my frustration and make something good out of it and thanks … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Oh So Mysterio.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: When the McMahon comes around.

After months and months of sampling the worst and the weirdest that plastic wrestling toys have to offer, I decided it's about bloody time to devote an entire installment to the big man himself. The big McMahon in fact. If Gerald Brisco should ever narrate this column (hey, it could happen) he'd say the big … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: When the McMahon comes around.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Warrior! What is it good for?

I have to admire the toy designers at Mattel, they certainly know how to take a concept and run with it. Whilst some wrestlers have great characters their actual looks can be pedestrian. After all, a plastic figure can only convey so much personality and when you're working on a new mix and match toy … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Warrior! What is it good for?