Now this is a nice novelty. Normally I review something from toyboxes of the past but this time I've got a pair of toys so hot and fresh out of the oven I have to wear gloves to hold them. I speak of course of the new kids on campus, WWE Zombie figures. Zombies … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures : Undead and loving it.
"They see me rolling, they're hating..." Yes indeedy doo it's once again time to plunge elbow deep into the toy box of the past and emerge with a worrying rash and clutching a wonderful slab of pure polymer perfection, a WCW Road Raging Goldberg figure and his beefed up, tricked out personal pick up truck. … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Mirror, Signal, WHAT A MANEUVER!
Come with me now on a trip back to the heady days of 2005, a time before the credit crunch, before selfie sticks and before Brexit with a quintet of my favourite figures I've encountered so far as a connoisseur of craptacular toys and serve as a perfect example of pre-housing crisis toy manufacturing decadence. … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures:Changing Faces
Throughout the short time I've been reviewing wrestling toys I've often wondered about the multitude of design decisions that lead up to a figure being put into production and landing on store shelves. Most of the time I can see what someone on the design team saw in an idea, even the Maximum Sweat WWF … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: An Extra Large Shake.
I un-ironically love the WWF Maximum Sweat figures now I've had a chance to really get to know them. Sure, they may be lumpen and exaggerated but that's why I love them, they are hyper-real cartoons of a hyper-real cartoon with a little button on the back that makes water run from their foreheads to … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Gonna Make You Sweat!
So after some research it turns out that there are approximately one hundred billions different versions of those knock off micro figures I reviewed some time ago. Some even take their fake factor to a whole new level and like a moth drawn to a flame, I found and purchased one more of these nefarious … Continue reading Wrestling Figures : Six Sides of Suck.
It's safe to say that Vince McMahon has a "type". He likes his men how he likes his movie popcorn, unfeasibly large and out of all normal proportions. Who can really blame him? After all it was that walking repository of roids Hulk Hogan that brought him mainstream success, tons of cash and a generation … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: The Rubber Match.
I think out of everyone in the New Blood era of WCW, Mike Awesome started the strongest and ended up the weakest. Recognised on tv as the ECW as he beat up Kevin Nash on the infamous "reboot Nitro" and helping Billy Kidman to put the one & only Hulk Hogan through a table a … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Boresome-Bomb.
It isn't Halloween just yet but I think if I were to review this figure on October the 31st I might bring about some kind of spectral apocalypse upon the world due to its sheer terribleness. The world and his brother will admit the class that was the Macho Man, even during his late WCW … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures:The Macho Man Can-Can Dance.
On balance I may have been a little harsh on some of these TNA figures but in my defence, the lows were far lower than the highs were high. Scott Steiner couldn't stand under his own power thanks to some shoddy leg joints (of which I can sympathise, or should that be "Sympy-thise"), Brother Devon … Continue reading Total Nonstop Action Figures 4: Paint it black.