Woeful Wrestling Figures: Buff Diddy.

Yes, yes. I know it's been a while since the last one of these but it's here now. Time to give the woeful wrestling figures arena a sweep and welcome its newest signing. It's only Buff Bagwell! Hailing from the wonderful wasteland that was latter WCW figures, Buff Daddy comes packing a lot of fun … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Buff Diddy.

Dave 27 Cleans toilets in space. A Short story.

There was a palpable sense of elation in the musty, recycled air. The flying aces of Fox Squadron had just returned to the capital ship ESS Sanchez after a highly successful bombing raid against another of General No-Leege's doomsday weapons and the entire ship was joined in welcoming them home. Well, almost the entire ship. … Continue reading Dave 27 Cleans toilets in space. A Short story.

Unskippable: Justified & Ancient by the KLF feat. Tammy Wynette.

As I’ve listened to it throughout the years since its release in 1991 “Justified and Ancient (Stand by the JAMs)” feels like pop music’s best attempt at making a mad-lib into a legitimate hit. Acid House? Hip Hop? Tammy Wynette? “The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu”? And then there’s the video: Dancing on a throne? … Continue reading Unskippable: Justified & Ancient by the KLF feat. Tammy Wynette.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Goldzilla VS Nashra

In the best of 2016 list I featured a giant Goldberg figure among my favourites, mostly because I couldn't quite believe how ludicrously big it was. So imagine my joy upon discovering on a certain online auction site a figure that dwarfs even Big Bill. Ladies and gentlemen, call the kaiju defence force as I … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Goldzilla VS Nashra

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Yo Joe!

Alright, it's been long enough I think. Time once again to not do my homework and peer at a lamentable lump of plastic putrescence and document my findings. I do this for science, not clicks. As luck would have it, Samoa Joe has just made a rather memorable debut on Monday Night Raw, proving that … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Yo Joe!

Woeful Wrestling Figures: A Little Pump ‘N’ Grind.

Alright, let's get 2017 started in the right way, with crappy toys instead of expensive fireworks, gallons of alcohol, nameless party guests and the ever-present threat of a social disease. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. The Christmas season may be over for another 11 and a bit months but I come from the … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: A Little Pump ‘N’ Grind.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: 2016 A Toy Odyssey.

Happy holidays Internet, 'tis the season to make list posts (fa la la la la, etc) and being the hack fraud that I am I've decided to get a piece of clickbait pie and try to put a full stop at the end of my fraught journey through this mad, bad and very weird year … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: 2016 A Toy Odyssey.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Oh So Mysterio.

In amongst my self esteem taking the kind of battering by life that most punching bags would deem excessive I have to admit that finding the wherewithal to try and make jokes at wrestling toys harder than usual, but in an effort to take my frustration and make something good out of it and thanks … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Oh So Mysterio.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Up and Atom!

I had it all figured out. A schedule of reviews planned, photos taken, subjects procured, I was on top of my game. Was on top of my game that is, until this wonderful lump of bootleg gorgeousness arrived at my door and shredded all my plans. Oh fake Adam Bomb, you're bloody lucky I like … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Up and Atom!

WOEFUL WRESTLING FIGURES: NEW JACK SWING

There's been far too much competency on this blog recently. So much so that I've had to seriously consider renaming this column to reflect the shocking optimism and positivity that has crept in. So thank the toy deities that once again the awful quality of the subject can match the awful quality of the writing. … Continue reading WOEFUL WRESTLING FIGURES: NEW JACK SWING