Woeful Wrestling Figures: Goldzilla VS Nashra

In the best of 2016 list I featured a giant Goldberg figure among my favourites, mostly because I couldn't quite believe how ludicrously big it was. So imagine my joy upon discovering on a certain online auction site a figure that dwarfs even Big Bill. Ladies and gentlemen, call the kaiju defence force as I … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Goldzilla VS Nashra

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Yo Joe!

Alright, it's been long enough I think. Time once again to not do my homework and peer at a lamentable lump of plastic putrescence and document my findings. I do this for science, not clicks. As luck would have it, Samoa Joe has just made a rather memorable debut on Monday Night Raw, proving that … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Yo Joe!

Woeful Wrestling Figures: A Little Pump ‘N’ Grind.

Alright, let's get 2017 started in the right way, with crappy toys instead of expensive fireworks, gallons of alcohol, nameless party guests and the ever-present threat of a social disease. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. The Christmas season may be over for another 11 and a bit months but I come from the … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: A Little Pump ‘N’ Grind.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: 2016 A Toy Odyssey.

Happy holidays Internet, 'tis the season to make list posts (fa la la la la, etc) and being the hack fraud that I am I've decided to get a piece of clickbait pie and try to put a full stop at the end of my fraught journey through this mad, bad and very weird year … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: 2016 A Toy Odyssey.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Oh So Mysterio.

In amongst my self esteem taking the kind of battering by life that most punching bags would deem excessive I have to admit that finding the wherewithal to try and make jokes at wrestling toys harder than usual, but in an effort to take my frustration and make something good out of it and thanks … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Oh So Mysterio.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Up and Atom!

I had it all figured out. A schedule of reviews planned, photos taken, subjects procured, I was on top of my game. Was on top of my game that is, until this wonderful lump of bootleg gorgeousness arrived at my door and shredded all my plans. Oh fake Adam Bomb, you're bloody lucky I like … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Up and Atom!

WOEFUL WRESTLING FIGURES: NEW JACK SWING

There's been far too much competency on this blog recently. So much so that I've had to seriously consider renaming this column to reflect the shocking optimism and positivity that has crept in. So thank the toy deities that once again the awful quality of the subject can match the awful quality of the writing. … Continue reading WOEFUL WRESTLING FIGURES: NEW JACK SWING

Woeful Wrestling Figures : Undead and loving it.

Now this is a nice novelty. Normally I review something from toyboxes of the past but this time I've got a pair of toys so hot and fresh out of the oven I have to wear gloves to hold them. I speak of course of the new kids on campus, WWE Zombie figures.   Zombies … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures : Undead and loving it.

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Mirror, Signal, WHAT A MANEUVER!

"They see me rolling, they're hating..." Yes indeedy doo it's once again time to plunge elbow deep into the toy box of the past and emerge with a worrying rash and clutching a wonderful slab of pure polymer perfection, a WCW Road Raging Goldberg figure and his beefed up, tricked out personal pick up truck. … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Mirror, Signal, WHAT A MANEUVER!

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Break Ya Neck.

What did Paul Wight do to earn the ire of the great toy gods? First it was the vibrating lump I got some time ago and now this hilarious totem of terribleness. For some context, during both men's WCW runs, Kevin Nash and the Giant feuded over who was "wrestling's true giant" and in one … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Break Ya Neck.