Oh Jakks Pacific, what were you sniffing back in the early 2000s? Actually, I bet it was rubber fumes, because that would explain what I've got to show you this edition of either Woeful Wrestling Figures or Action Figure Fight Club. (I'm torn on the rebranding) Everyone, say hello to WWE Unleashed Booker T. So … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Dead from the waist down.
The cheers of the German crowd throughout the stadium sounded like rumbles of thunder as the bell ring. Once again Super Estrella Jr had proven himself by successfully defending his heavyweight wrestling championship and stood triumphant among a snowstorm of confetti and adulation. His opponent this time was well trained and skilled but Estrella was … Continue reading WRESTLEFICTION: WRESTLE GALAXY 1
In the best of 2016 list I featured a giant Goldberg figure among my favourites, mostly because I couldn't quite believe how ludicrously big it was. So imagine my joy upon discovering on a certain online auction site a figure that dwarfs even Big Bill. Ladies and gentlemen, call the kaiju defence force as I … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Goldzilla VS Nashra
Happy holidays Internet, 'tis the season to make list posts (fa la la la la, etc) and being the hack fraud that I am I've decided to get a piece of clickbait pie and try to put a full stop at the end of my fraught journey through this mad, bad and very weird year … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: 2016 A Toy Odyssey.
Now this is a nice novelty. Normally I review something from toyboxes of the past but this time I've got a pair of toys so hot and fresh out of the oven I have to wear gloves to hold them. I speak of course of the new kids on campus, WWE Zombie figures. Zombies … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures : Undead and loving it.
"They see me rolling, they're hating..." Yes indeedy doo it's once again time to plunge elbow deep into the toy box of the past and emerge with a worrying rash and clutching a wonderful slab of pure polymer perfection, a WCW Road Raging Goldberg figure and his beefed up, tricked out personal pick up truck. … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Mirror, Signal, WHAT A MANEUVER!
Come with me now on a trip back to the heady days of 2005, a time before the credit crunch, before selfie sticks and before Brexit with a quintet of my favourite figures I've encountered so far as a connoisseur of craptacular toys and serve as a perfect example of pre-housing crisis toy manufacturing decadence. … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures:Changing Faces
Throughout the short time I've been reviewing wrestling toys I've often wondered about the multitude of design decisions that lead up to a figure being put into production and landing on store shelves. Most of the time I can see what someone on the design team saw in an idea, even the Maximum Sweat WWF … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: An Extra Large Shake.
I un-ironically love the WWF Maximum Sweat figures now I've had a chance to really get to know them. Sure, they may be lumpen and exaggerated but that's why I love them, they are hyper-real cartoons of a hyper-real cartoon with a little button on the back that makes water run from their foreheads to … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Gonna Make You Sweat!
So after some research it turns out that there are approximately one hundred billions different versions of those knock off micro figures I reviewed some time ago. Some even take their fake factor to a whole new level and like a moth drawn to a flame, I found and purchased one more of these nefarious … Continue reading Wrestling Figures : Six Sides of Suck.