1996: The Year of the Return…to Greatness

by William Renken  I don’t think I’m alone as a wrestling fan in admitting there were periods where my fandom wained. I seem to remember 1994 was the last strong year for me as my interest dropped for about 3 years until Steve Austin exploded into pop culture. 1994 was special for wrestling specifically where … Continue reading 1996: The Year of the Return…to Greatness

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Woeful Wrestling Figures:Changing Faces

Come with me now on a trip back to the heady days of 2005, a time before the credit crunch, before selfie sticks and before Brexit with a quintet of my favourite figures I've encountered so far as a connoisseur of craptacular toys and serve as a perfect example of pre-housing crisis toy manufacturing decadence. … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures:Changing Faces

Woeful Wrestling Figures: Gonna Make You Sweat!

I un-ironically love the WWF Maximum Sweat figures now I've had a chance to really get to know them. Sure, they may be lumpen and exaggerated but that's why I love them, they are hyper-real cartoons of a hyper-real cartoon with a little button on the back that makes water run from their foreheads to … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: Gonna Make You Sweat!

Woeful Wrestling Figures: The Rubber Match.

It's safe to say that Vince McMahon has a "type". He likes his men how he likes his movie popcorn, unfeasibly large and out of all normal proportions. Who can really blame him? After all it was that walking repository of roids Hulk Hogan that brought him mainstream success, tons of cash and a generation … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures: The Rubber Match.

Woeful Wrestling Figures:The Macho Man Can-Can Dance.

It isn't Halloween just yet but I think if I were to review this figure on October the 31st I might bring about some kind of spectral apocalypse upon the world due to its sheer terribleness. The world and his brother will admit the class that was the Macho Man, even during his late WCW … Continue reading Woeful Wrestling Figures:The Macho Man Can-Can Dance.

Woeful(?) Wrestling Figures : Choking You Out Hazard.

Bum-bum, bum-bum, bum-bum, bum-bum, beep, beep, beep, beep, beeeeeeeeep. IT'S TAZ! Yes indeed ladies and gentlemen this time your humble purveyor of plastic grappling takes a turn for the extreme this week with a look at a very early figure of the "human suplex machine", plucked straight from the original ECW toy line. Now let … Continue reading Woeful(?) Wrestling Figures : Choking You Out Hazard.

Total Nonstop Action Figures 4: Paint it black.

On balance I may have been a little harsh on some of these TNA figures but in my defence, the lows were far lower than the highs were high. Scott Steiner couldn't stand under his own power thanks to some shoddy leg joints (of which I can sympathise, or should that be "Sympy-thise"),  Brother Devon … Continue reading Total Nonstop Action Figures 4: Paint it black.

Total Nonstop Action Figures 3: Joe Blow.

Ladies and gentlemen out there in toyland, I now present to you a figure that is simultaneously one of the best and one of the worst figures I've ever seen. First up, the good news.... This figure poses like nothing on earth, I can't believe the range of motion and the tightness of the joints … Continue reading Total Nonstop Action Figures 3: Joe Blow.

WWF: Woeful Wrestling Figures 4:Vanilla Midgets.

So far I've been able to have a lot of fun taking cheap shots at cheap toys and although they are some of the most hilariously barrel-bottom scraping garbage I've come across they have the good sense to be inexpensive. One singular unit of currency per figure seems like a hell of a deal right? … Continue reading WWF: Woeful Wrestling Figures 4:Vanilla Midgets.

WWF: Woeful Wrestling Figures 3: The Chode Warriors

My toy story continues! Those nice folks at Poundland have gotten their mitts on another clutch of plastic wrestling figures of questionable origin. In the next part I'll have something different in a troupe of miniature figures complete with enough weapons and accessories to make New Jack jealous but before that the heavyweights are back … Continue reading WWF: Woeful Wrestling Figures 3: The Chode Warriors